The Story Garden 5.0
Fiction
John Wayne and the Perfect Angel Food Cake
The first attack of the renegades was the door creaking late at night and Eileen's painted eyes peering in, then a car driving off, and sleeping sleepy-long as he wanted. They let him.
They didn't tell Davey about the accident till later that Sunday, which is one of the things that made him mad. It was only after the whispering then the comings and goings, that they told him his mother was hurt real bad in an accident. Then came neighbors and some aunt peeking in on him while he tried to sort his baseball cards. It was like the time he fell out of the tree and was knocked out cold and woke up to people poking and pinching and he knew something was seriously wrong but wasn't sure if it was permanent. And that time too it wasn't till the next day that he felt dizzy and they took him to the hospital.
The tree thing was way back in 1951 when Davey was only seven, but now he was almost ten and this Sunday afternoon the something serious was that his mom's not being there was permanent. He figured it would be a while before forever bothered him but right then and there he made up his mind to stay mad. Mad at the poking and acting like he was too little to say the word they meant. Dead - he heard it all the time.
Monday morning Davey was stiff and scratchy in his brother's old confirmation suit which didn't quite fit yet, and the house was full of aunts and cousins wiping their eyes, bringing breakfast, cooking lunch and talking real quiet. The women would be all right until they looked at him and exploded.
"Oh the poor thing - he's trying to be so brave!"
He might be brave but he wasn't trying to be anything. Not no dumb poor-thing.
That's why it was so great when he was looking out the front living room window - with two aunts behind him on the couch hissy-whispering - and he saw Will and Joey coming toward the house. He almost laughed watching them push and pull each other up the walk, like their mothers made them do it. Still, it was a school day and they had given up their lunch recess, which was something. He ran outside to keep them from coming in.
"That's good Davey - go see your friends," said a giant aunt he never knew he had.
"Jack! Davey's leaving the house." It was the squealer yelling to his brother.
He met his friends half way up the porch steps.
"Hi amigos - c'mon let's walk."
"You, you.. OK?" stammered Joey.
"Sure he's OK," said Will grinning.
"Don't go far, Davey we have to be there at two." It was his brother Jack on the porch.
"Why are you telling him two? Two is when they open for the public. Davey! One-thirty -no - make that one," Eileen shouted.
"Stuff it!" said Davey, too quiet for Eileen to hear.
He charged ahead and led his friends up the street where he plunked himself down on the concrete stoop three houses down. He sat down in the middle and was sorry because then Joey and Will had to sit on either side. It was like he was the center of attention.
"That's your sister-IN-LAW," said Will, snorting a laugh. "Show some respect."
"She's only nineteen. I ain't gonna listen to her."
Will snorted again, "Yeah, but Eileen is so pretty."
"Hey, you're like a orphan now, ain't you?" said Joey.
"An orphan is some kid that's got no place to live. Davey's got a nice house with his brother," said Will.
"But his father's dead too. Ain't he, Davey?"
"My Dad was a hero in the war just like John Wayne. So he ain't really never dead." said Davey.
"Davey, not too far! We're going soon," yelled Eileen.
Joey's eyes opened real wide. "Where do you have to go?"
"You know he has to go to the funeral parlor," said Will.
"Oh jeez! We'll probably have to go too. And I knew his mother real good."
Joey was a like Christmas card angel, blond and baby-faced while Will was taller and darker. Davey liked Joey because he was the only kid in his class he could beat up. Some day he'd catch up with Will though.
"Are you real sad, Davey? We're both sorry," said Will.
"Naw, I ain't sad, I'm mad. It was all so dumb."
"Why mad?" asked Joey.
"They tell you all the time, be careful crossin' streets, and don't let you out after dark and then they go and do dumb things."
"Yeh, one time I saved my mother crossing Broad Street,” said Will.
"Not only that but now the house is all full of aunts and cousins I ain't never seen before ordering me around like they owned me."
"Didn't you cry at all?" said Joey.
"Naw. You think John Wayne would cry? I seen where his whole family and the whole town got kilt by renegade comancheros and that only made him madder."
"Yeah, I remember that. But I think it was Randolph Scott," said Will. "Think you can go to the movies this Saturday?"
"A-course. Who's to stop me?" said Davey, but then he had to lean over and play with his shoelace till he could work up a scowl again.
"DAAAAAV-VEEEE!" like a siren from up the street. "Don't get dirty."
Joey whispered. "Be careful Davey. I remember my grandmother last year. They make you look and it gave me nightmares."
"Daffy Duck gives you nightmares," said Will.
"You never been to a funeral, Will. So don't talk," said Joey.
"I was so. My great gran-father. I think I was five and not scared a bit. What's scary about a grandmother?"
Joey went on about how his grandmother was always sneaking up and grabbing and hugging him, how she's call him her little angel that she was taking to heaven. Davey was glad he wasn't the only one who thought about Joey being such an angel face. Sometimes he was ashamed to be seen with him. But Will saying how the bodies in funeral parlors were just like statues with all the gunk taken out and they couldn't hurt you - like the stuffed elk at the Club on Brown Street. He wished they'd talk about something else.
"Hey, so what's playing at the Cameo this Saturday?" he said but they weren't listening. Joey was sounding like Peter Lorre.
"After the funeral when I was alone in bed I got the idea that she would come and grab me and take me with her. Know why? Cuz' when she was lying there I couldn't stop watching her hands and just before was supposed to say good-bye, I swear I saw them move."
"Oh, bull!" said Will and then to Davey, "I think this week's it’s turn for Tarzan."
"Neat," said Davey but he might not go. He didn't like the snakes and crocks and leopards jumping out of trees, and hardly any shooting at all. And in the last one he saw, Tarzan was married to Jane, just living normal in a tree with a kid and all.
A church bell rang once.
"We better get back to school now, " said Joey, and they both stood up and looked at him.
"Yeah, I gotta go too." It was good to see the guys, but Davey wondered if later he'd be thinking about Will's stuffed elk or Joey's dream.
~~~~
The strong sweet smell of flowers made Davey feel like throwing up. John Wayne never threw up, or cried. The lights were scary-movie dim and the undertaker that led them was real creepy like someone in the coming-attractions that always made him look away and pretend to tie his shoe. Before he knew it, they were in the big room where the smell got even stronger like those too-sweet pink candies that all kids hated but old aunties shoved in your mouth before you could stop them. The room was filled with flowers but most of them were at the end of the room, a place he didn't want to even look at. But there was no escaping it - long and silver, with lady-pink silk spilling over. And someone lying down inside.
Mr. Bridgeton, the undertaker led Jack and Eileen, but then Eileen stepped back and pushed Davey up to be next to Jack. It was like a crazy mixed up dance that no one wanted be in. The next thing he knew he was standing in front of the coffin next to Jack with Eileen behind them squeaking like a little kid's toy.
What Will had said didn't help at all. He tried not to look but when he did, she looked fake all right but not fake enough - like there was a pasty powder to make her look sick. His mother always had been pretty, and maybe she still was now, but the only thing that stuck with him after too long a glance was that something was wrong with her mouth. It was sort of smiling, but more like she couldn't swallow. The most important thing was not to look at her hands which all were tied up with a rosary. He could imagine Joey's nightmare trying to happen, except the rosary was stopping it.
Jack began to make noises and took off his thick glasses so he could rub at his eyes, which made Eileen behind him really start to blubber. Jack blessed himself so Davey did the same but then started to count the flowers, read the cards, do anything but look, till it was over and Jack stood up to let Eileen kneel and he could get up too. While Eileen prayed and whinnied, Jack told the undertaker, what a great job he had done. Davey looked up at Mr. Bridgeton, who looked so proud, and began to feel sick again. The undertaker had the same makeup his mother had and even the mouth was the same.
Then suddenly all the aunts, uncles and cousins that had been tramping around the house all day seemed to appear at the same time and Jack went over to see them. There was a row of chairs that seemed to go on forever and Davey went way down toward the farthest end. He was just starting to sit when Eileen grabbed his arm.
"When we sit we should sit opposite the entrance so people will see us."
He tore his arm away and sat at the chair farthest from the coffin that was sort of near the entrance. He made up his mind to just sit and think of nothing sad. Jack was taking people up to the coffin, and Eileen took some too and still more people were coming in. Returning from one trip, Eileen stopped and said,
"It would be nice if you escorted some people too. There are some cousins over there just a little older than you."
"No!" he snapped it like a gunshot.
"What do you mean, 'No'?" said Eileen sounding really mad. "Won't you do one little thing for your poor mother?"
"It ain't for my mother - it's for you."
"What's wrong?" said Jack, just returning.
"He refuses to escort his cousins to the coffin."
"Let him be. He's probably having a hard enough time as it is," said Jack and he put his arm around Eileen's waist, leading her away.
"But it would be so cute," said Eileen sounding like she was going to start blubbering again.
Sometime he hated Eileen, but he had to admit she looked nice with her blond hair combed neat and that tight black dress that shaped her like mermaid. He liked his brother just fine. Just a few weeks ago Jack had taken him downtown to the Palace to see Hondo - just the two of them - and it was Jack and Eileen's Saturday night out.
He decided to try to remember all his favorite movies but he kept thinking about last Saturday on TV. On Friday nights his mother would just have a couple of beers then fall asleep watching TV. But Saturdays were his night because at ten o'clock they would always show a good movie. They were old movies but always with swords or gunfights, like Robin Hood or Zorro or the best of all, an old John Wayne war movie. Not only would she let him stay up and watch it but she'd go in the kitchen and bake him a cake. Angel Food was his favorite and that's what she made this week. Her cakes were always a little burnt, but that's what made them taste so special. One time Jack went out and bought an Angel Food cake but it wasn't burnt and didn't taste like it was really made at all.
After the movie Jack and Eileen would usually come home from "their one night out" and mom would say she was going to go "across the street for a short one." She worked hard and deserved it. Eileen worked hard, Jack had school and work. They argued about how everybody worked hard and deserved a night out. He would fall asleep listening to it all and dreaming he was in the movie.
This Saturday the movie was something called "Counting Monty's Crystal" and maybe it was all right but there was so much talking at the beginning he began to fall asleep right after his first piece of cake. It was Angel Food and good and burnt. He woke up now and then to see some sword fighting but the story made no sense so he didn't even notice that his mom had left before Jack came home. She had never told him good night.
Davey's movie idea wasn't working so he decided to take a walk.
"Where are you going?" said Eileen.
"I gotta go pee."
"Say it nice!"
"Please, I have to piss, thank you."
She groaned but he walked right past her into the hallway. There were an awful lot of people; relatives, neighbors, people his mother must have worked with - all in circles talking. Many of them were laughing. How could people laugh in a funeral home? When he was done in the bathroom he went back to the big room and just past the doorway was a new circle with three men and two women.
"You don't mean it! Her boyfriend?"
"Oh, yeah - like drinking buddies every Saturday night. This night they're arguing about going in his car somewhere. I guess, in his state, he thought she had got in, but she had just slammed the door and walked off."
"And he backed right over her?"
"Just knocked her down - but she hit her head real hard I guess. Lousy luck."
"Yeah, he's in the hoosegow now."
They all roared laughing.
"You're awful Frank. Poor Dorothy - what a dumb way to go."
"Dorothy was a good woman, but she liked her Saturday nights."
The woman who had said, "you're awful" suddenly looked sick and Davey figured she must have just seen him. He stood there without moving, and looking mad. He was mad.
"Oh Christ!" she whispered to the man next to her and pulled him away. The others turned and made awful faces too. Davey then got the idea that this could be fun.
He squeezed between the many human circles until he heard something interesting.
"It was nice of the boss to give us the time for good old Dorothy but I wish he'd finally leave."
"Oh, I don't even mind seeing Dorothy for some time off."
Davey pushed his way past circle after circle stumbling blindly until he reached some open space. He found himself looking at the casket again. She was all alone and no one was praying anymore. He ran back along the edge of the room to the chair he had had before and sat there hating every one. He wished he could pull a gun like John Wayne and chase the bandits out of the saloon, then bust up the ones that were dumb enough not to run.
A pretty lady, who walked like a man, looked lost for a second then smiled and sat down next to him.
"How ya doin' Davey? Holdin' up OK?"
"Yeh, I guess I'm OK."
"I'm your second cousin Amy from the farm. Remember me at all?"
"I remember a big picnic on a farm. Yeah, it was fun."
"You look mad. I bet you're mad. I was when my father died."
"Yeah, maybe a little."
Davey sat up straight. Joey's mother was coming in, dragging, really dragging Joey behind her.
"Is that a friend of yours? OK, see you later, Davey."
Joey could save the day. It could be better than a gun.
Joey started to come over to him, but his mother shoved him toward the coffin. His mother was kind of funny looking but Davey liked her. Mrs. Slazek pushed Joey down on the kneeler and knelt next to him. Joey was shaking, even though he couldn't possibly see anything with his neck bent so low it looked like someone had chopped off his head. Come on Joey; take a peek, thought Davey. Take a good long look, then yell like a maniac and run screeching from the room. That would teach them all.
Joey just knelt there, vibrating like a headless windup toy.
Come on mom! For once in your life do something great. Move your hand, blink your eye - do something! But nothing was happening and Joey's mother was starting to bless herself.
Joey came toward Davey staggering but grinning like he had just scored a touchdown.
"I was very sorry, David, to hear of your bir-reef-mint,” said Joey, making his mother smile. Davey didn't talk much with Joey after.
That night after a dinner with relatives shoving food in and drinking real fast and looking at him funny it was more of the same at the funeral home. Just more people in circles talking ugly.
"What's Jack going to do with that big old house? It's got to be more than he can handle."
"Oh, I hear he'll sell it and finally go back to college full time. Poor guy - working all day and school at night. And Eileen's on the same routine."
"What'll they do with the kid?"
"Who knows?"
It was like he was the one who was dead but wandering the room invisible, like a ghost, listening. Listening and getting madder. Mad ghosts could be dangerous.
Just before the priest and the prayers, Will finally showed up. At least now there would be something to do. Will's folks talked to Jack while Will bulled with him for a while before his mother grabbed him to go to the coffin. Old Will was grinning when he got up to go.
Will strutted up ahead of his mother and plunked himself down like it was the most natural thing. They blessed and prayed together. Davey lost interest when Mrs. Ganelli stood up until he noticed that Will stayed kneeling. What was he doing? Will's raised his right hand ever so slowly and reached into the coffin like he was going to touch her. Then Will's hand shot up like it had been burned, and he sprung up and stumbled toward his mother. Davey didn't know whether he should be mad or not because Will looked creepy white.
"What's wrong?" his mother asked. She hadn't seen what he had done.
Will's voice came out funny: "So cold." Then Will took a few steps and threw up on the fancy brown carpet, right at the feet of the priest, making him jump and bust up at least three circles. It was like a perfect strike in bowling - finally something went right.
That night Davey tried not to dream Joey's dream by telling himself a story about himself and John Wayne leading a wagon train through Indian country. They had guns and swords but instead of being attacked by Indians it was laughing men in suits and crying women who stood in circles blocking the trail. John Wayne said not to, but Will and Joey started shooting but nobody would move out of the way. Davey drew a sword and swung at one man, but hit Will instead. The laughing man only laughed much harder.
The funeral was the next morning and Davey woke up even before Jack came in to shake him. It seemed strange with the house empty of aunts and cousins, just too much quiet and Eileen fussing over his and Jack's ties then deciding to change her dress. Davey poured himself a bowl of cereal and sliced his own banana. He could only eat a little bit.
The funeral home was full of people but everyone was real quiet and there seemed to be no reason to be there except Jack said they had to form a procession for church. The chairs were set in rows like for a show and he had to sit right up front with Jack and Eileen. It was very hard not to look. The undertaker said prayers but Davey expected there'd be plenty of that at the church, so there really was no reason for being here.
Then Davey found out the reason. While another undertaker called out names for cars, Mr. Bridgeton came over to Jack. "You may say your last farewells."
It made Davey shiver - he sounded like Boris Karloff. Eileen was starting to make a noise like a siren starting up.
"Come on David," said Jack and he took his hand, but Davey pulled it away.
"No. I'll say good bye from here."
Jack said nothing but went by himself to just stare, until Eileen walked up and put her arm around his waist and held his hand. Then she stepped away and blessed herself. When she turned, she looked at Davey like she hated him, even though her eyes were full of wet. Davey hardly noticed because he was watching Jack move his hand slowly, just like Will had done. And then Jack did it. He touched her hand, he touched her cheek, he touched her hand again. Davey started to see fireflies but fought them off.
They were all waiting out in the hallway, for Mr. Bridgeton's assistant to announce their car, when Davey began to feel real bad. He hadn't really done any good-bye for his mother, had hardly even looked at her. With sideways baby-steps he inched himself back toward the big room and peeked around the doorframe.
Mr. Bridgeton was leaning over the coffin doing something and his hand was right in there - touching his mom! He was unwinding the rosary that was wrapped around her fingers and he had to lift one of her hands to get it free. Then two things happened at almost the same time. Mr. Bridgeton turned to look at Davey while he slowly lowered the lid. The second thing was his mother's hand. It didn't just drop but stayed up and sort of swayly-waved just before the coffin lid went 'Thump'.
"Jack wanted the rosary. It came from the Holy Land," said Mr. Bridgeton but by then the fireflies had become shooting stars and everything went black.
~~~
It was OK to pass out. John Wayne did once when he took a bullet right near his heart. But then some pretty lady took care of him and he almost had to stay with her forever.
Davey decided that he liked Amy from the farms and that she was pretty enough to take care of even John Wayne. He was too sick to go to the church or the cemetery so Amy volunteered to take him home. She put him on the couch to sleep but he kept seeing that hand and was afraid he would have a Joey nightmare even in full daylight with a grown woman in the room. He felt he should ask her if they could catch up with the funeral later but was glad when Amy said,
"You were sick, Davey. Take it easy for today."
"I passed out 'cuz I didn't have no breakfast. That's all."
"I can make you something. Anything you want."
Of course he wanted Angel Food cake and he told her where to find the mix but she said,
"Mix? Heck no. I know how to make it from scratch. Remember - I live on a farm."
"But that will take forever and everyone will be back here by time it's done."
"No they won't. They're going to have a luncheon at some party house and won't be back till late this afternoon. The cake will be just for you."
"Party house," he said under his breath.
Amy gathered up eggs and flower and sugar and all sorts of things, and it didn't take that long at all to whip it all up. Davey did help find where the special mold thing was. His cousin put the cake in the oven and it smelled great. They went into the living room and put on the TV but there was nothing on but a soap opera. That was all right, because they looked through magazines together and laughed and she showed him how to play Gin Rummy, which he won.
Just an hour for the thing to bake, then another hour of agony smelling it but having to wait for it to cool. Then, at last, he got a great big piece and shoved a huge chunk into his mouth. It was perfect - not burnt one bit, at all - yet it was the best cake he had ever tasted. But when he swallowed it and it warmed his stomach, for some reason this started him to crying.
Davey cried off and on for many days, until the doctor gave him a pill to stop it. He had never seen John Wayne take a pill.
--Gerald Budinski
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